Escaping Sayedism?? 0_o How RUDE

Today’s topic for your enlightenment and entertainment is a serious one. Recently, I have noticed many of my loyal subjects trying to escape my wisdom and great knowledge. And that is becoming a wide spread trend in our society which will not be tolerated. Thinking about escaping me right now??

BIIIIIIIIIIIG MISTAKE!!!!! >:0

You cannot run or hide from me…I shall find you boneheads, eggheads, and banana brains where ever you go.

How will I find you?? you might ask that.

THE Professional ARMIES OF SAYIDISM STAND TALL, They await a single order from me to deploy cheese (we have many flavours as I once explained in a profound lecture ). The 5 stooges are watching you. And SOMEBODY IS GONNA GET A HURT REAL BAD….If I sayidism is not obeyed.

Highly deciplined.

They have great experience.

Are fit for heavy lifting. FAT NINJA BEWARE.

Remember the first commandment of sayidism,

“Thou must chop of the business of the unbelievers and thou must sell them as pickle”

Note: all my soldiers have a backup scissors.

As you can see, my armies are equipped with the state of the art weaponry including homing missiles, grenades and Hairless grandmothers :D. These fearless soldier will not hesitate to use their abilities to guide you back to darkne...I mean light of sayidism. With me, there is a brighter future for all. You all will be free from bodong dongs.

While I am on this topic I must elaborate more on sayidism. Do you see this image of black greatness?? That is THE SMITH. You must all memorize his words of wisdom. He is an example of a fine agent of sayidism, hates love and wears decent fashion.

In the end I must say this; I shall find you even if you are FAT NINJA, an indo-French, an onion head, a pair of chopsticks or a Japanese afro haired sumo wrestler.

You cannot deny my rights and the rights of the pickle industry. The masses shall be saved. Even if they deny it >.>

“Not impossible, it is inevitable” (Agent Smith)

THIS IS SAYEDISM!

It has come to my attention that our new crop of wannabe Sayedists have been misguided in their understanding of this glorious religion. Oh, dear, what shall we do?!

Never fear! For it is in the ways of our ominous leader shall we find salvation! He is indeed the master of the obvious, so this should be an easy lesson!

Saturday Night, oh a night most foul! For it is on this night that many a blasphemous soul engages in the heresy of nightclubs, and shamelessly flaunt themselves onto the degenerate female hordes! With their shapely curves, ample bosoms, and luscious lips! Oooh, yes you caught me. I am indeed gawking on a Playboy centerfold. *Drools*
Mmmm... Nice tight, round as- I mean, er... CUPCAKE!

But our great Prophet, in all his wisdom, has done away with such meaningless nonsense! Saturday night is a time to... DANCE!
YES! Bobble your head and groove to the beat of Sayedism music (Check the jukebox! Or better yet, the Disney discount heap!).

Our great leader, with his tasteful dancing sense, boogies on Saturday Night!
And he boogies with... LEIONITUS?!



Pffft. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!
This is SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEDIIIIIIIIISIIIIIIIIM 10000000000000000001!!!!

Oh, yeah! Shake it Leionitus, SHAKE IT!

----

And what to do if it's NOT a Saturday Night? Be imaginative, like our prophetic Leader!
Hire a tank!



Yes, even OUR religious leader needs a PopeMobile. And he has one with style. Now if only he could get it to move...

Wondrous are the ways of our lecturer; but he could get off his arse and write some decent lecture material...

Sayedism? Sieg Heil!

Our great führer has many a time taught us that Sayedism is the only true path, that following his teachings will lead us to glorious victory against the unbelieving infidels.

I have no questions that meine führer is a man of significant ability, but small naggling doubts have crept into my mind over meine führer. Many know that meine führer is Master of the Obvious and a Great Man of Contradictions...which is actually why I doubt meine führer.

Meine führer often speaks of how us brave valiant men of Sayedism should avoid contact with those degenerate female species, yet meine führer himself has people he considers friends among them. Yes, meine führer is a Great Man of Contradictions, many a time it confuses us. I am also bothered by the retrospective comparisons to his policy of surrounding himself with men to the ways of Michael Jackson. Whats more is that meine führer is older than any of us, and myself being the youngest of all, have some shreds of concern regarding meine führer and his...ball grabbing habits. I am sure he has a good reason to do so and am out of place to question his methods, but yet I do.

Furthermore, despite his constant lectures of avoiding those degenerate females, I cannot help but look at them. Degenerate as they may be, they have those wonderful curves...those luscious lips...that silky hair...the cute laugh. Oh, how they tempt me! Promiscuous strumpets! Many a time is my mind led astray by thoughts of...no! No! I must focus! Meine führer will surely not be pleased for I fail many times. Lately, I have been having dreams of a garden, and in the dreams I do unspeakable things with a degenerate female contrary to Sayedism! Oh! I too am a strumpet! Down strumpet! Be gone!

Yet, in times like these must I focus on my learnings. Alas, learnings fail me for I have been missing many lectures to be in the company of those wretched females with their bulging cleavages and shapely legs...no! I let my mind wander again! I must spend time in the room of penanace, whipping myself until I purify my mind. Only then will meine führer accept me...

But, meine führer can make no sense now for his teachings are like the picture above...

Oh how I long for the touch of a woman...

Sayedism and Cheese

Another post? ALREADY?! I am on FIRE baby!
Today's teaching will supplement a ridiculously long 2 hour Yarra lecture after dinner. So take out your pens and make ready your kavorkian scarves, folks!


Sayedism 101, Tutorial 1
Learning Objectives:

• Cheese and the bigger picture
• Why medical insurance is essential for Sayedism!
• The ultimate sacrifice of our leader in the Great Milking, leaving the world a better place for all!
  

Watch the following video closely, as it accompanies today's lecture!!!



This level of dedication is expected from all students! (It also explains why there are so very few enrolled in the Sayedism 101 course)

During the event, a wary disciple of the Sayedian cause was quoted as saying, "See how even now our acolytes train themselves to the extremes in preparation of the Great Milking! Tis a great day indeed!".

The Messiah of Sayedism is gifted with the touch of Soft Cheddar. Similar to King Midas and his Golden Touch, the Messiah of Sayedism is instead gifted with his uncanny ability to turn anything to cheese and milk of varying flavors (including vodka).

The 'Great Milking' of course refers to the day when he shall address all his subjects in a colossal 2m x 4m stadium. His followers shall then chase him and tear him limb from limb, devouring his tasty delicacies.

Within 5 minutes all these serfs to Sayedism will suffer a short seizure stemming from food poisoning. This prophecy (with everyone dying) is analogous to The Apocalypse.

Despite calls for authorities to rein in the Sayedists, Australian PM Kevin Rudd said "We do not think they will cause anything that could be deemed a threat to national security". "Their ridiculous custom ensures that the majority of Sayedists shall remain hospitalized for the remainder of the year".

Comic CG Agency, MojoFLIX, illustrated the plight and outcome of all Sayedists in their comical video:

The Smart Rat


Until next time, this is P. Narcissist reporting.

References:
The greatest video resource of all TIME! Youtube
Kevin Rudd
MojoFLIX(A very special thank you!!!)

Bobbles with Sayeds

O_O

Am I the first non-Sayedan to write in this forsaken blog?
YES?!
BOOOYAH! Go ME!!!!

One more step to total control over Sayed's life!!! Should that be KingTiger or Sayed?
Hmmmm... Such a hard decision!

And now that I'm here, you might ask:
"What is my first tribute to the (hardly) mysterious religion that is Sayedism?"
...I am sooo GLAD you ASK!

I must first find a way to spread the good word of the High and Not-so-mighty Sayed!
And how, pray tell, may I do that?!

ZOMG!!! A bobble-headed MESSIAH?!
WHY HATH NO ONE EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE?!!!!
Because I'm a friggin' genius, baby.

A must for every religious leader/delusional maniac! Now available at the UniMelb bookstore for all your Sayedism 101 needs! Just check the discount pile.

It just SCREAMS:
"HERE I AM!
Look at ME!
Loooove ME!
and then run away"

Take note of the luscious halo around the NRFB (Never Remove From Box EVER!) pristine condition Sayedism BobbleHead. And watch out for the radiation. There's a reason that heap of plastic is glowing and changing color.

MORE SAYEDIAN TRIBUTES COMING YOUR WAY!
Right after my lunch break...

"Be afraid
Be very afraid!!!" -- Sayedism 101, quoted sometime during the Trinity program when I was still innocent and unblessed (or uncursed?) by the Sayedian touch!

Intermezzo -- Get-To-Know-Me-Now

Before understanding my philosophy and teachings in the future, it is important to understand the author, Agent Tigertank Sayed (*that's me*) by reading this short post.

Here are some quotes that I made and has made huge impressions:

"I do not advertise myself" -- Sayed A.

"The people must seek me, not be seeked by me" --Sayed A.

"Why bother trying when you know you might fail" -- Sayed A.

"I never refer to myself as sayed HAH!! its always either agent smith or a tiger tank"-- Sayed A.



Apart from my quotes, my teaching has spreaded significantly that some people made these supportive comments:

"Sayed is a man of the obvious and contradictions" -- Ean

"I truly love Sayed.. when he is not 'teaching'!!!" -- S.H.

"Stop talking about my ass" -- Raj

"You sicko!" -- Victor

Orientation

To all Idiotic Ignorants,

Please keep on checking this new blog as I will continue my lectures on Sayedism 101 soon.

Sayedism is a principle I created in order to get people's attention and try to help them achieving better lives and hopefully a better future for this world. To achieve this, one should not fall in love, engage in any relationship and basically stay alone.

Stay tune for my next elaborated blogs on how different aspects of lives should be perceived. LONG LIVE SAYEDISM!!!

"Even though you all deny it, Sayedism shall prevail" -- Sayed A.