The term J*had (Excuse me while I censor it. Don't want the CIA poppin' outta nowhere like the lil' buggers they are, now do we?) means to struggle or strive in the name of you-know-who.
Of course, many of our followers will have undoubtedly noticed that our leader, in all his infinite wisdom, *silently* yells out this word everytime he demonstrates Sayedism in Modern Times 203 (See retired/dismissed/fired Admissions Officer/Chief of Butt Seck's post). Then our great messiah silently slips into the shadows for fear of an angry, t*rr*rist-fearing mob hounding him down and beating him senseless.
So, apart from these not-so-frequent expeditions, late-night outs with probably adult-rated company, many of you also probably noticed his frequent death threats on msn, and how his nickname always seems to be "I declare WAR on [Insert anything here]".
To minimize losses of Sayedist followers that may drop out due to extensive confusion-induced brain hemorrhaging, I have hereby compiled a list on everything Sayedism views with angst followed by frequent foaming at the mouth:
Sayedism's War on Everything:
A reflective compilation!
1) Barney & "Friends" :
This fat blob of purple-y badness has been literally asking for it since the get-go. Sayedism also preaches that anyone endorsing this cheeky tubby bastard should either be mauled to death, or sent to Sayedism's many re-education facilities (but the first alternative is preferred!).
If you happen to share the same name as this mascot of evil, may I be the first to bow my hat and offer a moment of silence. I might just like to add that any Sayedists with the name "Barney", must first undergo gruesome ritualistic induction rituals (Having their names changed at their respective government offices, which almost always involves some sort of long queue).
Lastly, the association known as "Barney & Friends" (Henceforth referred to as the axis of evil) is a front for Western White Supremist fanatics:
They commit every second of their worthless lives to destroying our culture (our smirnoff molotov-production sites!). The only value they contribute is their huge underground sex industry.
Therefore it is our duty as the true Sayedists of the Sands to take up arms and brutally dismember anyone donning a purple dino outfit. (And not just because a certain young relative of mine drives my study hours bonkers because he puts the Barney theme on a never-ending loop outside my room!).
2) Hot dogs:
This one is a no-brainer. Our leader, having all the qualities of a divinity (paranoia, war-hungry, envy), grows wary of the ridiculous amount of time people spend emulating their prized body parts. And he figures they cross the line when this emulation turns to food.
Y SO SERIOUS, boss? Well, you've gotta factor in all the perks out there trying to achieve the largest edible badong replica out there:
THAT'S definitely worrying, don't ya think? Question is, our leader is trying to remove badongs... So why worry about badong food? Especially when it signifies the act of "removing (eating) a shingel-wingel"? Sayedism is contradictory, friends. This wouldn't be the wonderful world of KingTiger if we didn't have to put up with crap like this.
And last but not least: Yep, you guessed it!
3) Sailormoon:
Okay, now who honestly didn't see this coming?
Girls wearing bikinis, flashing those ever-so divine curves... Mouths wide open as to suggest...
(Okay, now I'm definitely pushing it). Anyway, big point is:
Cartoon with girls,
Cartoon that's an anime,
Cartoon with girls in miniskirts,
Cartoon with girls in bikinis when they're not in miniskirts,
actually, Cartoon with girls FULL STOP.
Yep, straight into the Kill-On-Sight bucket for Sayedists (EAN: Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!).
We have already launched counter-offensives with many geeks launching seperate, totally random defamatory attacks on this well-established anime cult (I will spare you the shockingly embarassing pics; just do a simple google search why don't ya?).
Even before Sayedism began, geeks of all queerness and stature began their pursuit of utterly (though in most cases unwittingly) defaming this proud anime heritage. I don't really care much; I just hope one day they fire whoever writes their storyline. That or the whole anime crawls into a hole and dies (Sorry Ean ;) ).
1 comment:
Hot dog eating eh.
FYI, one of the champion eaters comes from the Kobayashi line...
which is Eans family name too.
OMG, Ean has hotdawg eating potential!
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